I was replying to someone on an SCA list who felt she had been snubbed at a feast. I have no clue what the details were (maybe she was sitting with boobs), but I felt the urge to offer this response.
Can I offer a rebuttal from an old timer?
It is really possible that you weren’t being snubbed, but the person had other things going on. For example, I am in a position where I sometimes have to make a toast at feast. Until I actually make the toast, I am not very talkative because I am practicing what I will say in my head (because if I don’t, then I will totally mess up what I am planning to say! And, sad to say, I have messed up a toast more than once, so I have learned this the hard way.)
Also, if I have spent a large part of the day interacting with new people, I feel I start sounding like that crazy aunt that you only see every 4 years and she treats you like you were 6 years old. (Like asking a 13 year old if recess is his favorite subject…) Maybe it is entertaining to you to be asked what your favorite part of the event was or what styles of garb you thought were pretty, but I ‘m secretly afraid I’m treating you like a moron.
Or (and I am terrible about this), maybe they have spent the better part of the day blathering on and on (and on and on) about their new pet interest and have started to feel that they are boring everyone they talk to. J
Or – maybe they are shy. I know lots of people who are really shy and by the time feast rolls around, their psychic batteries are out of juice.
One of the bittersweet things about being in the SCA for a long time is that you are often so busy with obligations that you don’t have time to meet new people – which is a shame because new people are a great way to recharge your batteries.
Heinlein has a great quote, “Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.” I think that applies to most SCA and real life situations, however I think the word stupidity is too harsh. I’m thinking unawareness might be a better choice.
Sorry if I have rattled on way too long. I try to look at both sides of every question, but I get mentally bombarded with polyhedrons.
And, I must say I just love that last sentence I wrote. I may have to take it as my mantra. One of my favorite bosses (may he rest in peace) once told me that my problem was not that I couldn't see the forest for the trees, but that I couldn't even see the trees for the leaves. (And then he put me in a position where I could count leaves. For he was, indeed, a great manager.)
On the other hand, I do know that I drive those people who see the world as black and white crazy. I see so many shades of grey (not to mention gray) that I lose track of the black and white.